A film director thinking..

In my many attempts at discovering the root of that unpredictable headache that keeps shouting - "Hey boy, you are not satisfied with your life." I never seemed to have pinpointed a way of getting out of it. Sure, meditation helps. But when the actual menace arrives, your head's not even thinking about meditation, how's that? All it thinks about is 'the things that could have been'.   I should have made a film by now, should have invited my teachers to a premiere that I promised them. Those big words from the mouth of a teenager who didn't know the reality. Okay okay, so depressing. Let's slow down a little. I still aim to achieve all those things. It's just that it might take a little more time. And no pressure seriously, because that is the last thing we need, right?  Photo by Aubree Herrick on Unsplash It's very hard to make a good film that audiences can remember for generations to come. And working on them must be a tedious task as well. ...

  Ab bas laga hua hun kal se kuch behtar banane me aur kal ko behtar banane me.  Far from the thinking mind. Not far, just slowly trying to loosen my grasp on it via meditation. I have no expectations anymore. I am simply in the 'be'. Went to Kolkata last week, met with an accident. Our (Mayank and I's) scooter slipped. The surface was wet and there had to be a tram track there. We all know the horrors of uneven surfaces. Always slow your vehicle down to a speed of 10km/h. Don't even think about applying the brakes! Just pass through it and if you do slip, hands up front and thank yourself for wearing a helmet. My head hit the side walk and I was so grateful for wearing one even though I was sitting behind Mayank. He's not a good driver and he knows it now. With so much patience, he listened to what I had to offer and I am sure with time he learns to slow his vehicle down on a speed-breaker. He reminded me of Geet. Even he just budum-bummed through all the speed bre...

Photo by Cristofer Jeschke on Unsplash रात के पौने दो बज रहे हैं और मैं जग रहा हूँ। ऐसा बहुत दिनों बाद हो रहा है। कारण? मैं फिल्म बना रहा हूँ। एक शॉर्ट फिल्म ही है फिलहाल तो, लेकिन इसको लेकर जो अरमान हैं वो शॉर्ट नहीं। मैं चाहता हूँ इस बार मेरी जनता जो देखे, उसका कण-कण उन्हें लुभाए। मैं काफी मेहनत कर रहा हूँ इस दफा। तन्मय और रजत जो कि मेरे स्कूल के मित्र हैं, उन्होंने मेरा खुली बाहों के साथ स्वागत किया अपने छोटे से घर जैसे ऑफिस में। यहाँ जो कोई आता है, वो ख़ुशी लेकर जाता है। तन्मय अपने भाई की देख रेख भी करता है और आपको हसाने में भी कोई कसर नहीं छोड़ता।  हम लोग तन्मय के ही घर पर मेरी अगली फिल्म या यूँ कहूं कि हमारी अगली फिल्म का निर्माण कर रहे हैं। शॉट डिवीज़न से लेकर स्टोरीबोर्डिंग सब पर भली भाँती काम चल रहा है। रजत ने आशीष दोभल जी से मिलवाया। ये फाइन ट्यून्ड नाम की कंपनी चलाते हैं। इनका भी काफी बड़ा हाथ रहा है इस फिल्म को हकीकत बनाने में। अभी बनी नहीं है लेकिन बन जानी चाहिए। पैसा लगेगा...  जहाँ तक है मुझे ऐसा लगता है २५ हज़ार तक की धन राशि जुटानी पड़ेगी। कोई आईडिया नही है पैसे कहा...

 क्यों भूखा हूं? क्या हो गया ऐसा? AQI levels dekhe hain Delhi-NCR ke? Something needs to be done and it needs to be done faster than the pace that is already being used. Also, meditating is fun. I wish I could do it all the time except that is not possible but I learned today that it actually helps in gaining physical changes in your body especially your brain. Btw, running increases blood flow into the brain that is why your face becomes red. Random, okay. Back to meditation, there is this app - Headspace. The inventor of this awesome app is someone who has been to Himalayas and has sat down with the monks and made it easier for us to understand the path to what it is to actually sit down and do 'nothing'. You heard me right. Nothing! Absolutely nothing. When was the last time you did that? I did it a couple of hours ago. Andy Puddicombe's voice can do wonders. You just sit there and let him guide you through the darkness and into the light. A little too dramatic than it n...

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash Okay so.. I have been struggling. I want to make a good film and it is high time now. I need visuals. Aisa kuch jo is duniya ka sabse busiest aadmi bhi ignore na kar paaye. And good music. Taaki rhythm bani rahe aur aap mere narrative me behte chale jaayen. :) Teesra feature film screenplay khatam hone ko aaya hai, ye waali pata nahi kab banengi lekin jab bhi banengi koshish karunga ki large format pe bane . I remember those few IMAX films that I watched as a child. Those are the ones that got me excited about the medium. It's an expression. An expression for a filmmaker. We need more innovation in cinema halls, now more than ever. Health report came in and boy some of my levels are not good. Have made significant changes to what goes inside my belly. Have cut off from deep fried to keep my cholesterol in check. TSH levels are also somewhere they shouldn't be. Feels like a spike from all the sitting and junk-food. Thank you lockdown! Need to ...

Photo by Andrik Langfield on Unsplash A lot of clueless souls wandering in the limitless perception of time created by the ongoing pandemic. What do we do? Where do we go? And to the ones with anxiety, increased sense of fear and a completely changed reality inside their heads - I believe in you. Do this right now. Write everything you've learned or are willing to learn over the course of your life. Write it, look at it and dream about it. Even if you have mastered the art of being lazy, write it in a way that sounds reassuring. I know, long stretch. But I've noticed how this helps. You can come back to it and feel good about yourself.  Okay I have to admit, even I don't know if I am utilizing my time efficiently but I have a bunch of things on my mind and I am willing to accomplish them. Only a bunch. Not a million dreams. Just three or four. I am working bit by bit in order to secure my future self.  Mujhe neend nahi aati kabhi kabhi raat me. Accha sa routine ban jaata h...

This summer wasn't a vacation, winters seem to be heading in the same direction. This year has only two months for some people. Nations across the globe announced total lock-down giving people time to reflect upon themselves and the world. These are trying times when the issue for mental health came back to light; actually it never left the spot. We were the ones who were ignorant from time to time. Photo by Camila Perez on Unsplash Air travel changed. Ways of living changed. What is it that didn't change? Everything did. Our lives were affected in each and every possible way. Fear of the virus made people return to their roots. Amidst all this we saw riots, violence and even a glimpse of what could have been a war. People are upset and as I said earlier, these are trying times. Will, patience and your productivity is what will get you through to the other side. We lost a lot of industry gems. I have been trying to write a couple of feature-length screenplays for the first ti...