Stressember

In my many attempts at discovering the root of that unpredictable headache that keeps shouting - "Hey boy, you are not satisfied with your life." I never seemed to have pinpointed a way of getting out of it. Sure, meditation helps. But when the actual menace arrives, your head's not even thinking about meditation, how's that? All it thinks about is 'the things that could have been'. 

I should have made a film by now, should have invited my teachers to a premiere that I promised them. Those big words from the mouth of a teenager who didn't know the reality. Okay okay, so depressing. Let's slow down a little. I still aim to achieve all those things. It's just that it might take a little more time. And no pressure seriously, because that is the last thing we need, right? 

Photo by Aubree Herrick on Unsplash

It's very hard to make a good film that audiences can remember for generations to come. And working on them must be a tedious task as well. Every genre defining film found its roots where other people downright neglected the idea of people liking them on the big screen.

I've been tracking my stress levels for a while now and this last month (September) was quite the charmer (not in a positive way). There were times when I felt like running away into the wild, that I am useless, that I haven't achieved anything and more stuff like that. But I have a mantra, let them pass. Because those thoughts are not adding anything. Maybe if I did act on them? Then what? Well if something like those thoughts have there roots in something so stressful then how could the outcome be good? Or what if it was good because I have never tried it.. hmm where am I going with this.. 🤔😂

A stressful month and those thoughts pushed me to look for jobs. I got several opportunities but am now waiting for the 'call-back'. Does it ever come or the concept has been mythologized? I'll still keep looking. I've noticed one thing, whenever my body achieves tremendous levels of stress, I usually come out a changed man. A slight change that I can physically observe. Like this time around, I became fast. I started giving less thought to things when it came to work and just kept doing things. I decided on saving my thoughts for other things, when it comes to work - just do and keep doing. Apart from the creative aspect, which does require a lot of thought.

Watching No Time To Die on 30th. It's in IMAX 3D! Long time! The good thing this time around? I checked the aspect ration before-hand. Unlike past Shivendu who fell for the gimmick and blindly walked into a 2.39:1 film being projected on an IMAX screen. We don't even have the original IMAX quality these days, but Logix has a reasonably better screen when compared to the other IMAX theaters in my locality. 

Okay! (big sigh) I think that's it for now. More later.. 

*insert clever one-liner advise here*